15.Dec.2011 Stop it with the bad product placement
TV does not read my blog, but I am going to yell at it anyway. Stop putting blatant, distracting advertisements in the scripts of your programs! You can’t even do it ironically anymore, because it’s been done too much and too well (see: 30 Rock, Arrested Development). While I am talking to things that don’t [...]
09.Nov.2011 Dude, Why Are People So Loyal to Canned Cranberry Sauce?
I love Thanksgiving. I’m practically obsessed with it. I call it at night and hang up on it just to hear its juicy, fattening voice before bed. People who are particular about Thanksgiving food seem to have a weird attachment to canned and boxed ingredients. My mom is adamant that I not make cranberry sauce [...]
03.Oct.2011 Abs! Abs!
For the first time ever in the history of the universe, I have signed up for an online dating site. I am approaching it sincerely and kindly, but I have to voice some “what is the deal with ___” thoughts about it: 1) A nice-sounding man with a nice profile ruined it by including several [...]
