15.Dec.2011 Stop it with the bad product placement
TV does not read my blog, but I am going to yell at it anyway. Stop putting blatant, distracting advertisements in the scripts of your programs! You can’t even do it ironically anymore, because it’s been done too much and too well (see: 30 Rock, Arrested Development). While I am talking to things that don’t listen, I will also say: Advertisers, stop getting greedy about what constitutes a product placement.
A recent example: On last week’s episode of Modern Family, two characters go to Target. In case you couldn’t tell they were in a Target, they say things like “Let’s go to Target” and “They have everything here at Target.” And then one of them puts on a Target uniform shirt as part of the plot. It felt like they were in Target for a year and Target logos were humping in the background making little baby Target logos. The lighting was so different there than the rest of the show, that it was like a florescent sign that shouted YOU ARE WATCHING AN AD! The show is already 22 minutes long so that they can show ads when it is aired on TV and streamed places like Hulu. Take out the Target-fest, and you have a solid 11 minutes of situational comedy.
This one hurt a lot because I love Modern Family and Target. And this is what allows both of them to push the boundaries so far. I’m not going to stop watching that show or going to that store. So how are they supposed to know that it is not OK to ruin television like that? This worries me. I didn’t even want to mention it specifically, because that is a form of spreading an advertisement I didn’t like.
I am waiting for TV dialogue like this (interspersed with just enough good dialogue, so people continue to watch the show):
Mother: Let’s hop in our Ford Focus and go to Wal-Mart and buy you some Tampax. Oh, and of course Advil with fast-acting crampinex.
Daughter: Mooooom, don’t forget the Lindt chocolate with …
In unison: California almonds in it!
In the real world, we buy things with brand names and go to chain stores. So I actually don’t mind when product placement and verisimilitude intersect. Get paid, bitches! I’m certainly not paying for TV. Go ahead and use that Apple computer and wear those NHL T-shirts, cast of Up All Night!
But I’m pretty sure that the way we are ending up with so many ham-fisted product placements turned full-blown ads is like so: The writers are told, “You have to put Home Depot in this episode.” So then they come up with a B plot about characters fixing a toilet. And then Home Depot’s ad team sees the script and says, “They didn’t actually say the name of our store. Let’s add that in. And can we also have them visit the lighting fixtures aisle? Because one of our Q4 goals is to boost sales of lighting fixtures with women 29-34. Would it hurt to have the logo in the background of that part where she does a spit take?” Most people get bossy when they are paying for something. And most people get conciliatory when they are being paid.
That is NOT how you create something good. And I don’t know what to do about it. (Hint: Don’t look to the way the internet is dealing with the problem as an example.)
Winner of the Most Frequent Sloppy Product Placement Award: Psych (See note about how irony doesn’t make it all better.)
Winner of the the Worst Product Placement of the Year: New Girl (So close to doing it right, only to have an entire scene take place in front of a store logo)
Winner of the “Wow, you know, they should have been paid for that and it was an awesome joke” Award: The Office (When Erin asks for “Cola, Kirkland if you have it” it was not only totally in character, but also most people recognize the Costco version of generic)
